Commitment and re-commitment:??Lasting relationships use whole-hearted commitment as a place to come home to and to steer the relationship. Commitment locates you on your relationship map so you can move from where you are to where you want to be. Recommitting when you mess up is the key, and recommitting to reveal your true self and your true feelings is the crux of it. For example, committing to reveal gains real traction when, in the moment of noticing that you?re concealing anger, you take a breath, recommit to revealing, and share the experience of being angry. What doesn?t work is concealing, noticing the concealing, blaming yourself for concealing, feeling like a failure, noticing that your partner conceals too and jumping on the blame merry-go-round.?
Blame to wonder:??When issues or differences arise, lasting relationships cultivate and use the wonder move rather than the popular blame move. Each person gets genuinely curious about how s/he is contributing to the issue. It might sound like this: ?Hmmm? I wonder how I?m creating this???
Emotional transparency:??People in lasting relationships savor their inner experiences and communicate them easily to each other. The art of being present, giving loving attention to what?s going on and describing that in a way that not only matches the feelings and sensations, but also lands for the listeners, turns talking into discovery. Truth changes from a report of what just happened to a flow of renewed interest in each other. It?s also really sexy.?
Appreciation:??Partners engaged in lasting relationships understand that the flow of love is most quickly enhanced by the ongoing and multi-faceted practice of appreciating. We appreciate verbally, non-verbally, in song and spontaneous dances, with notes, through special foods, with essays and flowers. We especially enjoy assisting others to expand their appreciation vocabularies and have created menus of appreciation that people can find on our website.?
Creativity:??A close relationship liberates a huge amount of energy, and many people waste that energy in conflict and power struggles. Lasting relationships fuel their creativity and co-creativity with the free attention and flow of love that allows them to co-create. Instead of pushing against each other, they join to move powerfully in chosen directions.?
Source: http://ballardtobrooklyn.com/2012/03/09/c
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Source: http://cyeamp.livejournal.com/40378.html
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